The post I recently read on this blog is quite interesting
to read but so are the comments so I thought I would post part of the discussion
here on my blog with the relevant link, it’s all about finding love &
accepting & living within discord & still feeling the love.
misschelliesessence says:
June 20, 2013 at 1:18 pm
Dearest Mathew – I
love this conversation! You would not believe how similar we are, this last
comment of yours blew me away. I felt the same way you did, living in the
discord and being happy with it. I don’t feel it’s all that bad as long as you
do feel safe, at home and vital there. We all have different paths to walk,
journeys to follow and experiences to observe and learn (from). You are a
beautiful and LOVELY ‘ratbag’ and even though you may live in the ‘discord’ it
is clear to me that you are still a very loving person and that is what is most
important in life, finding that love place and living it.
I ABSOLUTELY believe
you have been in continuous pain since age 6! Mine started at age 7 and I am
writing a blog about it, how it came about (I can see it now), how it affected
my life for 30+ years and how I came to heal from it :) We have much in common
however, my parents – all three of them – were alcoholics and I lived all the
affects that a child of alcoholics do: extreme poverty, neglect, mental and
emotional abuse. It took me a long time but I too, forgave them. There was a
point after my own children were born that I was VERY angry with them, I felt
they did NOT care for us. Feeling and knowing the unconditional love I had for
my babes I did not feel they did they best they could since I felt I would do
ANYTHING to make sure my children were loved, protected and provided for. But
feelings, thoughts, beliefs and opinions change as we open our minds and hearts
and after all that I realized that they did in fact do the best they could,
even with the mental and emotional abuse – they didn’t know any better.
As for the discord in
life, mine has all but disappeared and only comes around once in a while. I
have no issues with what people consider negativity, it is one of our greatest
teachers and when I do experience it, I welcome it – ask what am I suppose to
get out of this – accept, embrace and love it. I have gotten to a place where I
cycle through it very fast now as I just allow it to move through me. When I
was in pain and dis-eased it was because I hung on to them, would dwell on them
and beat myself up over it. I always say, ‘if we beat ourselves up physically,
the way we do mentally we would all be broken, scarred and bruised’ and do you
know what? I WAS! Which is why I say that.
I am truly grateful
that my blog struck a cord with you – I get giddy when I hear feedback like
that, so thank you very much! We must all do what makes us happiest in life,
regardless of what it is and as long as we ‘do no harm to others’ we are free
to live how we wish, want, need or dream. Thank you so much for sharing with me
and all who read my blog. I LOVE it when others share it’s a beautiful thing
and something we could all benefit from if we learned to do it more! SO SO MUCH
LOVE TO YOU! Namaste dear Mathew! -m. xo
My reply:
WOW what can I say, it
is funny how people who have been through the mill become more accepting
however a lot of people who have gone through the mill don't make it like I nearly
didn't a few times in my early life or some become totally conflictive right
through out there lives & do unto other what was done unto them, I am no
49yrs old & I made it!!!
You seem to have a
beautiful disposition & outlook Michelle as for me I live, at times, in
discord but I’m not living in discord which a lot of people mix up. While I
live in discord of life I have helped a fair amount of people because they relate
to me as I do of them. I’ve worked in
the welfare arena twice over in my life the last time was working with disabled
people of all kinds including people who have been in jail, disability comes in
many forms. I had one disabled bloke a few years older than me who cried at the
drop of a hat, after a stint with me & another co-worker you couldn’t make
him cry even if you wanted too. If I text
book treated him he would be still in a mess, I didn’t treat him with kids
gloves or something different from the rest but as an equal & when I incorporated
this with humour I had an immediate response. I was firm but humorous at the same time which
helped him not to take life too seriously.
I involve myself with
discord & at times become that discord but the love I feel around me at
times brings me back to earth, I am exceptionally fortunate but a lot of people
aren’t in being able to flip flop like this. It is funny because people have a hard time
working me out when they see me flip flop, they see me in discord & judge
me on that then they see me in total peace & harmony, some people think I’m
trying to trick them but it’s just me using the tools I have at hand to help
others. It’s great to be able to use so called negatives in a positive way.
Lots of love to you
too Michelle
Mathew
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